


Im drawn into your flame

by esmerzglamTJR



Series: Love, Lust, and Pain [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Bad Relationship, Hurt, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Graphic Violence, Songfic, Tommy's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-11
Updated: 2013-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-25 02:39:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/634250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmerzglamTJR/pseuds/esmerzglamTJR
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam is not the same as he used to be, but Tommy's heart wont let him leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Im drawn into your flame

**Author's Note:**

> This Fanfic was inspired by the song Not Strong Enough by Apocaliptica. Sadfic!  
> I wanted to make this on Tommy's POV

"...I'm not strong enough to stay away  
Can't run from you  
I'd just run back to you  
Like a moth I'm drawn into your flame  
You say my name but it's not the same..."

 

Its true, we are all a little insane. I don't know how it all came to this, where my heart is always taking over. Sometimes I want to leave, but I can't leave him, I just can't. He's not the same person he was when we met. All this fame just got into his head and I can't blame him for that. But I just love him too much to leave him, the way he say's my name, even though its said with more lust or anger than love like he used too, I can't help feel drawn to him.

 

"...You look in my eyes  
I'm stripped of my pride  
And my soul surrenders  
And you bring my heart to its knees..."

 

Over the time he has gotten more abusive, but in the aftermath he would always tell me that he loves me. The way he looks at my eyes always make my heart jump and my knees weak. I can still see the old Adam somewhere in those eyes of his.  
Im addicted to his kisses, the way he still makes love to me every single night. Even when I'm too weak, I'll still do whatever he says, I can never deny of what he wants from me, my stubborn heart wont allow that.

 

"...And it's killing me when you're away  
And I wanna leave  
And I wanna stay  
And I'm so confused  
So hard to choose between the pleasure and the pain..."

 

I know that in the night when he won't return he would be with someone else, but in the end he always comes to me because he loves me, right? Sometimes I don't even know, times like these is when i want to leave this house... our house. I don't think I can handle him breaking up with me. Sometimes he can still be the sweetest guy I know, and sometimes he can be a nightmare. And sometimes that nightmare won't let me be, it'll always bring fear in my mind.

 

"...And I know it's wrong  
And I know it's right  
And even if I tried to win the fight  
My heart would overrule my mind  
And I'm not strong enough to stay away..."

I know its not right the way he treats me sometimes, but sometimes it can feel so right. Cause no matter what, I'll always be craving for his touch. When I try to break myself free, my heart would always take over. Adam owns me whole. Body. Heart. Mind. Soul. He became the center of my world.

 

"...I'm not strong enough to stay away  
What can I do  
I would die without you  
In your presence my heart knows no shame  
I'm not to blame  
'Cause you bring my heart to its knees..."

 

There's no real reason to accept the way things has changed, but what can I do? I will fall apart without him. Love has cursed me.  
But every time i look at Adam's face, I feel complete. Its truly insane. There is just something about him that I can't get away from.

 

"...And it's killing me when you're away  
And I wanna leave  
And I wanna stay  
And I'm so confused  
So hard to choose between the pleasure and the pain  
And I know it's wrong  
And I know it's right  
And even if I tried to win the fight  
My heart would overrule my mind  
And I'm not strong enough to stay away..."

 

He isn't picking up his phone again. He was supposed to be here tree hours ago! Fuck! Im sure he's with that fanboy I saw him leave with earlier, he just told me to come home and wait for him.  
Fuck! Please no, don't cry over that bastard! But as I'm willing myself not to cry, tears are already running down my cheeks...

 

"...There's nothing I can do  
My heart is chained to you  
And I can't get free  
Look what this love has done to me..."

 

There is absolutely nothing i can do anymore. I've fallen too hard and too deep to get out of this. I was straight for fucken sate! And there's not enough time to erase all the bad things.  
I'm so deep on thought that I didn't noticed the door was opened till I felt the bed dip.  
"Hey babyyy, why are you cr-crying? Adam slurs the words, and embraces me with one of those sweet hugs that i love so much even though he smells like alcohol and sex. "shhhh its okay baby"  
"I just missed you baby, thats all" I try to smile and wipe away my tears, but even when i managed to smile, i can tell its not a good one.  
"Okay baby, im not going anywhere, ill always be right here with you Tommy"  
"I know, and Adam..."  
"what baby?"  
"I love you..."  
"I love you too baby" he tell me, them kisses me softly

"...and I'm not strong enough to stay away..." _ ****_

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it... Um I wa just thinking about events in my past and stuff like that and ended up thinking about how many relationships are actually like this...


End file.
